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Emily Lucarz blog

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Ring that bell | Lyndsie’s story | Part 6

Dec

28

To get caught up on her journey first, Visit the Lyndsie page

 

Part 6. Wow. We are really doing this. Part 6 was supposed to be done over the summer. My photography business got crazy and thus this never totally got completed.  But I have been thinking. Maybe God had a plan for me to wait for this post. He knew Lyndsie was going to need some more rallying, so it was meant to be this way.  Little did I know why He would need us to rally.

 

I talked to Lyndsie last night. I told her about my note pad. You know, the note pad that you have on your iPhone that connects to your computer? Over the past few months, I would be driving and she would pop in my brain. I would have ideas and turn on my talking thing to talk notes to myself so I would not forget what was going through my brain, which happens quite frequently.  I mean these thoughts were about thrown at me, totally out of the blue. Let me list some of them here so you can see how God was talking to me… and always in the car. God is never convenient is He 🙂

1.  When I can’t stand Ill fall on you. This phrase popped in my head. I thought, huh, maybe I’ll use that to show how Lyndsie leaned on God. Little did I know what meaning it would be taking. I think it’s actually a phrase in a song now.. who knows.

2.  Embrace your strength, you may need it again.  Wow. I can’t believe this even popped in my brain over the summer. I remember talking to Lyndsie and hearing about her crazy tattooing of that crazy fierce tiger on her arm during her treatment. She’s so tough. I remember thinking about it one day while I was driving and that popped in my head. I just assumed it would be for like a fight over who takes the garbage out or who takes her daughter to prom. Surely not to have to face cancer again.

3. I thought scars were supposed to be tattoos with better stories.  Well, I am not sure about this one. What makes a story better. My thought at the time with this was, her story WAS better. She beat cancer. But what does this mean now? How is this a better story to have to possibly go through this again. I may throw this thought out the window.

4.  Love wins. Yes it does. This always pops in my brain and this will be her next blog post theme, I am sure of it. Love is one thing that is not lacking in Lyndsie’s life.

 

So you can see, there are meanings behind my maddening brain. There were a ton more, but I want to get to her story.

 

This post was supposed to be about Lyndsie getting to ring that bell and celebrate her very last radiation treatment.  It will be still. But there is a bit more to the story now,  parts I was not thinking would creep in. Something that just won’t go away. Something so entirely nagging it needs to be squashed. That damn cancer appears to be back.

Lyndsie celebrated her last radiation treatment in late spring of 2014. Throughout the summer, she would endure many infections from her double mastectomy. Having to remove implants, recover again, then do it all over again. It was hell for her, “but not once, did Lynnie complain”, said her mom, Cyndie.  Lyndsie is abnormally strong.  Towards the end of the summer she developed what she though was a chest cold. What turned into a nagging cold would turn into a nagging cough that would just not go away. She was closely followed by her doctors. Nothing was coming up on scans. They would scan her entire body. It was all clear. Until mid December.

Just a few days before Christmas Lyndsie would hear that awful  word again. Cancer. Her husband Jared called Lyndsie’s mom, Cyndie, and asked her if she was around their kids. If she was, she was not allowed to cry. Jared said, “it’s back, and it’s not good.”

Soon after they would learn that there were multiple spots in her lungs. She was seen by a few different doctors, her personal one is out of the country right now. They all told them they are almost 100% sure it’s cancer and they have also found other spots in her body that are alarming and need to be investigated.  {That being said, what is stated here literally is all Lyndsie has been told. She does not even know where the alarming spots are located. She will keep everyone updated as soon as she knows anything. So pretty please respect her wish to not ask too many questions right now 🙂 She has developed an amazing following of friends through her journey and she promises to keep you all in the loop as she loves all of your support. } What I personally know, is this is the time to again just say prayers for her and her doctors as they figure this out again.  Her lung biopsy is set for after the 1st of the year.

Right now Lyndsie is not feeling well. With the breast cancer, it was just a massive mass. With this, she is having an awful time breathing and still coughing. She told me last night that she just feels really sick.  For her to admit that is a big deal.  That biopsy can’t come fast enough.

Cyndie of course, her mom, wants Lyndise to let it go. “Throw a brick through my window, do SOMETHING to release this!” Lyndsie is a runner and was told she is no longer allowed to run.

Right now Lyndsie needs your prayers more than ever. It hurt my heart to write this post. I had the video about all done and it was all happy happy happy, then I found out about this. I ended up tweaking it, but one thing remains. He alone is in charge.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

 

 

One last thing. Who would of ever thought, but cancer is EXPENSIVE. Go figure huh. Right now her family is in need of help. One of her friends has set up a fund for her. I won’t go into those family details here as this post is about Lyndsie as a person and not about the financial stuff. But feel free to click here and help how you can. Also, she reads each and every comment on all of these blog posts. Feel free to leave her messages here. They meant more than words can say through her first journey, and I know she will read them all again.

Stay tuned, we may have another fight ahead.

 

xo,

Em

 

Love you Lynds.

 

 

_______________________

Emily Lucarz Photography specializes in newborn, child, baby, maternity, family and senior photography in Saint Louis, Missouri and surrounding areas. She teaches lifestyle photography workshops around the country. St. Louis newborn photographer.

 

 

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  1. Darleane says:

    I am so very sorry for all of the trials and tribulations you are having to go through! I am crying while writing this. I have followed your story for awhile now and you are so inspiring! It is so hard going through something like this without kids but I think even more heartbreaking when you are a mother and want to be here for your children! God doesn’t do anything without a reason and even though we might not be able to know what that is he walks with us through every second of it! I am going to pray for you and hope that God is holding all of your hands as you start your next very difficult journey!
    xoxo

  2. Jess l says:

    Oh lyndsie, I think of you often and though I don’t actually know you, I feel like I do! I pray for you and your family all the time! Your strength is inspiring and so many people hold you in their thoughts and prayers. We are all behind you :). Much love sent your way!

  3. Jess Ziegler says:

    All I have to offer is prayer. Loads of prayers for Lyndsie and her family <3

  4. Susan says:

    I’m not one to post comments – I’m usually an observer, a passerby – but I have to leave a comment here. Lyndsie – you are amazing. I hope that the strength and courage that has carried you to this point brings you to your next bell ringing moment. Cancer sucks – you can do this. Emily – what a blessing to have brought you and Lyndsie together – you captured so many feelings – they are so much more than just pictures. Love and prayers, Susan Hedlund

  5. Ashlie Woodward says:

    This is beautiful. And heartbreaking. Love you much Lyndsie. We are all behind you 10000%. Cancer picked the wrong girl, with the strongest God.

  6. amie hansen says:

    Praying over you and your amazing family.. friends.. doctors… everyday I will pray over you and God continues to heal you.. beautifully documented emily..

  7. Denise says:

    Thinking of you and praying for you everyday

  8. Marina says:

    I’m so sorry… Lyndsie You are amazing brave woman, mother. Must say that crying is little what i did during the video. I don’t know any smart word to say in occasions like this.
    Last summer my friend beat breast cancer and at this time my other friend have chondrosarcoma but not enought money for surgery and she is suffering a lot.

    My prayers are with both of you, and wish you to beat it whatever it is and enjoy your life with kids, family and friends.
    Xo

  9. Michelle says:

    Ohhh, Lyndsie. We have never met, but I followed your story closely this last year. At the time, I had a friend that was also fighting breast cancer, and it was very inspiring to watch someone else kick this horrible disease’s ass with such determination (pardon my language).

    Since then, my friend’s cancer went into remission. We found out a month ago that her cancer has returned. Also, back at the end of May my five year old son was diagnosed with cancer. We are in the middle of the biggest fight of our life right now, and I feel so much grief and hatred for what this disease has caused.

    I just wanted to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hate that you have to fight this again and that your family will have to watch. The hardest thing I have ever done is watched my baby fight this. I would take it from him in a heartbeat.

    God be with you, and give you the strength that you need minute by minute. ❤️

  10. Elisha Guest says:

    ohhh Lyndsie! I am praying for you and your family!!! I am so sorry to hear about the cancer potentially being back. Keep your fight up girl!!!!!!! Sending lots of love and light your way!!!!

  11. Ariel says:

    Oh sweet sweet Lyndsie you are so heavily in my heart and thoughts. Everyday I am sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. You are such an amazing, strong, and brave woman! You will beat this stupid cancer and continue to be an amazing mother and wife.

  12. Stacy Gilmore says:

    All of my prayers and love are being sent your way Lyndsie. May God fill you with peace and heal your body. <3

  13. Joanna says:

    Lyndsie,
    I am so so sorry to hear this news. I have been following your story and praying for you and your family. You are such an amazing and beautiful woman who truly inspires me. I will be continuing to pray for you, your family and the doctors. And I can’t wait to see the last part of your story and how you have beat this terrible monster!
    Always in our prayers… Xoxo

  14. Whitney says:

    I’v followed your story from the beginning…so sorry you have yet another battle. You are so strong, so inspiring!! You got this!!!!!!!! Hugs and prayer

  15. Heidi says:

    Beautiful Lyndsie, I think of you often and pray for you and your family. No words can express how unfair this is. I hate cancer. And I hate you have to go through this again. You are so brave and so strong. Please know you aren’t alone in this fight! xoxo

  16. Prayers for you, Lyndsie. Cancer is a nasty little thing that has hit my family hard as well. I can’t imagine how you feel and honestly pray that you get better quickly so those littles can enjoy their beautiful mama.

  17. Cathy Lescher says:

    Hi Lyndsie,
    You may not remember me. I work with Paula, your mother-in-law. Just want you to know that you, Jared, and the kids are constantly in my prayers. Your blog is simply beautiful. Stay strong. We’ll be sending warm thoughts from Macomb, Il.

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