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Emily Lucarz blog

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Here we go again | Lyndsies Story | Part 8

Feb

05

To get caught up if you have not yet, visit the Lyndsie Page 

 

>>>>>

Well, the last time we all spoke on here, we were waiting for Lyndsies plan to tackle cancer again. Make sure to go watch parts 1-7 if you have not yet to sort of catch up! 🙂

Here is what she knows. It has spread into her lungs and lymphatic system,  but it’s still breast cancer. It is not lung cancer. Praise the Lord. Lyndsies cancer is estrogen positive. Which we already knew. The tests came back and its the same cancer. Thats good! The doctors know her cancer reacts well to chemo. So she has started her chemo journey again.  After a few months of chemo she will be rescanned to see how its working. At the time this chemo started a few weeks ago, Lyndsie was coughing uncontrollably. She was winded walking up the stairs.   Daily tasks were difficult. She could not WAIT to get going.

So here she was. On her first day of chemo. First let me all tell you about mine and Lyndies relationship. I love her like a sister, Im worried sick about her, BUT…. we like to joke around. Its nice sometimes to just laugh and shake our head at what life throws at you, ya know? So that’s what we did.  HOWever, I could have squeezed her after what she did to me this first chemo day! I was meeting her at Siteman right after her first meeting with her doctor to get her prognosis, plan and first round (first round THIS time) of chemo. I got there just as she had met with her doctor, and I say, “Well, whats the prognosis? Did he have a plan?”

Lyndise replies:

“I have 3 months”

Wait WHAT. As tears fill up my eyes, my heart stops, and I about pass out on the lady sitting in the chair next to us, Jared punches her in the arm and says,

“LYNDSIE! Emily asked for your PROGNOSIS AND treatment plan. You need to re-word that!”

Lord. Bless. Thank. The Lord.

Way to give me a heart attack. I think she aged me 4 years. The rest of the day we had to kind of laugh about what she had said, well knowing that she was lucky we could laugh at that. Its so hard being so lighthearted when there are so many around us who really may have 3 months. But laughter helps her get through it. This cancer is scary. It has spread, luckily not to any other organs. But that is why she’s getting chemo again. To prevent any MORE spreading. She’s not out of the woods yet, but she’s getting there everyday.

 

The picture below was where Lyndsie and I were sitting, away from everyone, as I made her move because of her MOUTH!  All these sick people around us, and we bound in all young and laughing and lippy. 🙂  Lyndsie’s filter is not exactly the best. And I love her for it. I drug her over to the silent and cold hallway, overlooking the city, and we just talked. Jared had left to get her some lunch, I told him to get her a cheeseburger because she’s unfairly thin (Im not jealous ;). She’s not thin from being sick but from being healthy. :). We sat there over looking the city and saying, wow. I can’t believe this is happening again. We talked about somehow this time it felt different. Lyndsie knows what to expect. Her breasts are already both gone so nothing to do there.  The biggest difference is this time she can’t run. Before she would run after every session. Now shes doing all she can to just breathe.

Saint Louis family photographer | Lyndsies story_0001

As we were sitting there, an “Angel” came to visit. She brought Lyndsie and Jared some amazing news that we will be keeping private, and now it’s our little secret. But when she walked away. We said. “Did that really just happen”. We felt like we were in a movie.

 

Then bounds over her favorite chemo floor nurse. She said. No. You are NOT back. That is NOT ok. Then she gave her hug and a little rainbow unicorn she had bought for  Lyndsie down in the giftshop when she saw her name on the chemo rounds. Love her to pieces. You have seen her in past videos 🙂 As happy as she was to see Lyndsie, she of course was sad to see her back there again.

Saint Louis family photographer | Lyndsies story_0002

 

Then it was time for chemo. We waited. And waited. And waited. It took foooorrrreeeeeeever. Just saying.

Lyndsie, being the stubborn girl that she is, decided to not get a port this time, instead to leave an IV in her arm. Yeah gross. (again, how we roll. keeping it real 🙂 )

By the end of the day, she was convinced that her 2 yr old possibly pulling on the IV line all day was not a great idea. Plus she would have to have Jared help her shower.

Port it was. She got it soon after 🙂

You will see Lyndsey coughing below. I had not heard her cough like that yet. It was awful. It broke my heart.  The problem was, I was making her laugh and it triggered it!  I soon stopped talking so she could catch her breath. I took full responsibility. But hey. She was smiling. And guess what!

A few chemo rounds in (from the photo below), she’s NOT coughing anymore! She’s NOT winded going up the stairs! And she can play with her kids and breathe at the same time. Seems as if the chemo is working :

Saint Louis family photographer | Lyndsies story_0003

 

The chemo is working SO well that it has caused her hair to fall out faster this time. Last time it started to thin. This time, you grab a handful of hair on her head, and 70% of it would fall out. She text me a photo of lots of hair in the tub (like LOTS 🙁  )  the other night and said, ” Hey Em….” I replied “Im there. Lets do it tomorrow”.

 

So over to Lyndsies I went. We talked about how to do it this time and decided it would be super special for Jared and the kids to cut her hair. Woah. Don’t ever let that clan have scissors again! HA! I took over for a bit as it pained me to watch the atrocities happening to the back of her head. But lets be honest. I was no better at it 🙂

So when I arrived, Lyndsie’s mom and sister were of course there, the kids and Jared. I went to “pet” Lyndsie on the head and off came a handful of hair. No one should have to go through that. So we cut it, shaved it, and now she’s rocking her pretty head again. Since she shaved her head now 2 days ago, the little stubs of hair have started to come out too.

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So now, more and more chemo, then we wait for her scans. Keep praying for Lyndsie!!!

 

Emily Lucarz Photography specializes in newborn, child, baby, maternity, family and senior photography in Saint Louis, Missouri and surrounding areas.

 

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  1. Kristin K says:

    You’re beautiful Lyndsie–you’ve got this.<3

  2. Linsey H says:

    I cry every time I watch those videos….and it just rips my heart out to see those babies ringing that bell with their Mom and it to be taken away again so quickly! Prayers going up that you’ll be ringing that bell long and hard again very soon and cancer will be a distant memory, a bump in the road. God is bigger than cancer 🙂 He’s put in you such a strength and love that the world needs to experience for years to come!! Keep fighting, we will all keep praying, and we’ll be giving God the praise and glory soon!!!

  3. Ariel says:

    My goodness Lyndsie you are soooo brave!!! You keep on smiling even when you are handed a difficult card. Please keep that smile on your lovely face. Sending positivity and love your way girl!

  4. Kelly says:

    The ringing of the bell in your video got me! I was at the hospital today for my third treatment of chemo and heard the bell go off four times! I was lucky to ring that bell 9 years ago when I finished my treatment for breast cancer. Unfortunately, I have cancer again and this time, my prognosis is very poor… BUT… I will NOT give up! Lyndsie, I know I don’t even have to say this, but NEVER GIVE UP! When I start feeling a little sad and negative, I think about all the wonderful people in my life and how fortunate I have been… This is just one more hurdle that we have to overcome… Emily, your talent for capturing raw emotion is beautiful… The love in Lyndsie’s family just shines… Wishing you health and happiness Lyndsie! I don’t have to wish for love for you because you are surrounded with it!!! Get through this beautiful lady!

  5. love following this story. Praying for the family. Hopeful for an update soon!

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